Cherishing your spouse or long-term partner.
Cherishing evokes a sense of real care, peace, kindness, compassion and warmth. Togetherness and cherishing are often lacking in a marriage, even though both partners are committed to the children’s health and wellbeing, nourishing all in the family as best as they know how and taking care of all things to do with a household and its occupants. Love in a marriage is undoubtedly there for even those of us who are old timers at being “wedded”. We do care for one another, do make some time to be a couple, are “together” in as much as not being separated or divorced. The problem is that often we are presenting our best selves to others when we are at work, on the phone, caring for loved ones other than each other and being a good employee / employer. The disadvantage is of being your best self to others is that you lack the stamina to carry it on as soon as you get home. We struggle to remember that the one we asked to be our life long partner was originally the one person we strove to be compassionate and caring to almost all of the time.
Battling with fatigue, stress, job dissatisfaction, challenges with the children or maybe caring for elderly parents can frankly be a drain on the mental health of a happily married couple. The man of the house cares deeply for the wife and the kids and goes to bed exhausted after a day’s work, caring for the home, kitchen duties, laundry and all the other things a lot of men are doing these days as well as all the endless things the women will take care of increasingly around a full time job as well. It means that we are all shutting off to each other as there is no time to sit and natter and rest and unwind together. Could you imagine a time when the two lovers that are depicted in Klimt’s famous painting of The Kiss, endlessly entwined together were actually hating the site of one another and had just told each other to rudely and aggressively, well, “leave my immediate vicinity” shall we say?
Well, a good marriage is always one that survives the fluctuations of good times and bad times without cleaving a hunk of flesh out of the survivors of the bad times. The concept of cherishing is lost on most however, although the romantics among you may tell me this is simply not true. However, not that I say that cherishing is the sweeping gesture of true romance even, it is more the ability to breathe before the stress of the day rips any romantic fragments from the cells of the heart. The need to smile before considering what is being said or asked of you means that a scowling, angry answer never formulates even in your brain. The change that is needed for many of us is compassionate living, compassionate thinking and being the best self for the best person you ever fell in love with. Harmony follows.
Breathe a sigh of relief for a cherishing and compassionate change of outlook and sign up to a cherishing workshop in a beautiful location in Essex, UK soon. Visit www.pathstopeace.co.uk for more beauty or guidance on cherishing and like the Paths to Peace Facebook page.
Blessings and peace to you old marrieds and to the newer weds, however cherished or uncherished you are right now.